Carrot + Kiwi = Cantaloupe. And Ryan Reynolds is hot.

I was feeling experimental last night with my cocktail making. Our friend Lisa flew in from Chicago to spend her spring break with us, and I was aiming to impress. I decided to use kiwis, which to me (and I think you'll agree with me on this) are just an inherently more fancy fruit than something like an orange or a strawberry. 

I bought some juice at Trader Joe's that looked very promising for my kiwi drink recipe- "Tropical Carrot Juice Blend." Not only was it a very pretty orange color, but it was also from TJ's, and almost anything you buy at TJ's is fantastic. I was very excited. I mottled some kiwi, made some lovely kiwi garnishes, and mixed the Tropical Carrot Juice Blend with some vodka. What did I get?
Cantaloupe (!!!???).
Oh, it tasted fine, but I couldn't help being a little disappointed. I wanted kiwi awesomeness and got cantaloupe taste. What the hell? Cantaloupe wasn't even an ingredient in the juice blend. Oh well, I still love you Trader Joe's.

Anyways, the alcohol still did its job. After drink #4, the poetry just started flowing:

Cantaloupe

I photoshopped

your face

onto Ryan Reynold’s body.

I anticipated something

magical.

But then your body was too orange

for your face,

and I never
looked at you the same way again.

Is it my lack of photoshopping skills

or your lack of orangey skin
that's the problem?