Mercy kill + Fishsticks = Win Win

The Easy Game

Dumplings

Lutherans

Apples to Apples

Kitties

Jeggings

Lamb Chop’s Play Along

Science

Spooning

Any man named Leslie

Scams

Used jock straps

Ursula the sea witch

Any Pokemon other than Magikarp.

It’s easy to think

Of things that are better

Than Nicolas Cage

Yeah, I know Magikarp eventually evolves into the Gyarados, but honestly, who has the patience? Or a better question- what kind of Pokemon trainer would be so inhumane as to let Magikarp suffer long enough for it to evolve? The easy solution (really, it's what's best for everyone): put Magikarp out of its misery. You can't honestly think it's having a good time flopping around on the ground, incapable of inflicting any damage on its opponent? Just kill it. It will probably thank you. And then double bonus- fishsticks for dinner!

Besides Magikarp, there are a few things that are worse than Nicolas Cage, but I've been hard pressed to think of more than a dozen or so. Here's what I've come up with so far:

I'm sorry if this list will give you nightmares. Really, I am. Btw, these pictures aren't paired next to each other for any particular reason (except Bump-its and Pocatello, Idaho). It's just the way I formatted them. Then again, I bet Ann Coulter is just the kind of psycho who drives a Hummer. And Stephanie Meyer probably is a slow walker- I still want to punch her in the back of the head even if she isn't. I also bet Maggie Gallagher is the kind of sick mother who would enter her toddler into a beauty contest. And M Night Shayamalan? He's totally the twisted kind of weirdo who would be into that creepy 3-boobed chick. As for Rebecca Black and the Double Down? They're both cheesy, they both give you heartburn, and they're both...fried?